Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Healthcare Providers Are Like Spouses

So you want to find great doctor. Or maybe you prefer a nurse practitioner. Do you look in the phone book? Listen to your sister? Your neighbor? Call the local hospital? Your insurance company's physician directory? The healthcare system in the United States gives us many choices for healthcare providers, and if you don't have an inside source, the choices can be overwhelming. How in the world do you know who to choose, and how do you know if you're choosing the right one for you?

Some of the questions that you may be asking yourself are: "Should I choose an internist or a family practitioner? What is the difference between the two?" If you're a woman, the question may be, "I really like my OB/GYN: is it OK to use him as my family doctor?" Or, "Can my cardiologist take care of all of my medical care? I get tired of going to so many doctors!" All good questions, and all legitimate questions. Other questions may be, "When do I need to see a specialist, and is my family doctor the only one who can make that decision? Do I have the right to demand that I see a specialist?" Another may be,"Can the nurse practitioner at my doctor's office give me the same care as my own doctor?"

Choose a Doctor, Get Engaged; Continue the Relationship, "Marry" the Doctor!
Your relationship to your healthcare provider can, in a sense, be compared to the relationship between a husband and wife. "Huh? What do you mean?" you ask. There are several analogies that can be drawn between the two. Let's look at some of them.
It is to your advantage to research for and find a doctor that you can stay with. First, as in a marriage, there has to be synergy and chemistry between a client and a healthcare provider. You wouldn't marry someone you weren't attracted to now would you?! There is a certain level of intimacy afforded both a spouse and doctor that is sacred. When choosing a healthcare provider, you should be making a choice that is enduring. The assumption that making the choice of a doctor is based simply on his or her skill and expertise is a misnomer. Also, the idea that because a doctor has a "great bedside manner" makes him or her a good choice is also erroneous. Make no mistake: just like you need synergy and chemistry in your personal relationships, you also need this same component in the doctor/nurse practitioner-patient relationship. Let's look at this another way: the doctor patient relationship is not just a one-sided relationship. Have you ever considered that a healthcare practitioner may have a "personality conflict" with you? Do you need to continue a relationship that is strained and potentially unproductive in that case? It makes no sense to maintain a relationship with someone with which you inherently disagree.

Spouses and Healthcare Providers Have Access to Areas of Intimacy
There is a certain level of intimacy afforded both a spouse and a healthcare practitioner. For that reason alone your choice of a practitioner should eventually form an enduring relationship. You tell a doctor the most intimate details of your life, from whether you're single or divorced, all of the details of past and present illnesses, family histories, whether or not you are depressed-the list goes on. The practitioner also has access to every centimeter of your body, both inside and out. Does this sound like a casual relationship to you? And just like you want and need your spouse to have access to this information, your healthcare practitioner needs to know, too, although for different reasons.

Spouses and Care Providers Do Just That: They CARE!
Spouses and care providers show evidence of caring: they listen, they make you feel secure by earning your trust, they make sure that you you are well taken care of. They want you to be well. Nothing is more frustrating than baring your physical body or your emotional soul to a person who could care less, or is so over-booked and apathetic that he/she doesn't have time to listen, let alone make an accurate differential diagnosis. Carving out a relationship with your healthcare provider takes time, communication (two-way communication, that is), and the relationship should bloom into one that is mutually satisfying. Sound a little over the top? Not really. While you should leave a practitioners office believing that you have been well-taken care of, the practitioner should also believe that he/she has done everything within their realm or scope of expertise and practice to help you. When a provider of care loses their passion for practice and empathy for their clients, they either need a vacation or a new profession. It is not difficult to tell when someone enjoys what they do: it shows in their work.

Look At the Big Picture and Think Long Term
There is much to be said for staying faithful to your spouse as well as your healthcare provider. Continuity of relationship is key to building trust and communication, and prevents fragmented service delivery. It enables your practitioner to make sound decisions based upon a personal relationship and intimate knowledge of you. This decreases risk of errors and guessing when it comes time to make diagnostic and treatment decisions. Going from provider to provider helps neither you or the provider, as it is the fundamental provider-patient relationship that is a major component in decision-making. A good healthcare practitioner deals with the WHOLE PERSON, not just a cluster of symptoms. You'll be glad someone knows you and gets along with you so well, so that when you get "really sick" you'll have your best and most knowledgeable advocate at your side.



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